When you imagined having a baby, you probably didn’t picture your bundle of joy needing to receive cardiac care for their precious little heart. You probably didn’t imagine them needing to have monitoring, observations, tests, interventions and even possibly surgery. You may have pictured holding your baby, sharing him or her with family and friends, all their first moments shared and celebrated at home. And now you are adjusting to a new reality and a new picture of what life may look like with your little one.
Sometimes it may feel difficult to bond with your baby if you are in hospital surrounded by medical speak and equipment. However, you are still your baby’s most important people. Your baby has an individual and special personality to share and their own ways of reacting to life despite medical interventions. It takes a lot of energy to grow, and even more so, if your baby is unwell, so don’t worry if it takes time for your baby to show interest. Here are some ways to support your baby to respond to you and become more interested in the world around:
Learning about your baby’s cues
Your baby is seeking to communicate with you from the time that they are born. Watch their movements and see what helps soothe and calm them. If they arch their back or turn away, try a different touch or voice. If they are calm, eyes wide and turning towards you, they are ready to engage.
Watch how they react to your voice or facial expressions. You can communicate by making eye contact, talking, singing or smiling. If your baby looks away, that is ok. Allow your baby time to rest and when they are ready, they will re-engage.
Follow your baby's lead and this will help you to know how to help them to stay calm and attentive.
Providing positive sensory experiences
As soon as your baby is born, they are developing neural pathways and making sense of the world. The first 12 months of your baby’s life is one of the busiest periods of brain development. There are lots of things that you can do to support this development even if your baby is in hospital.
Talk, sing or read to your baby using a soothing voice
Your baby has listened to your voice since before they met you! They are familiar with the sounds and tones that you use and find comfort in them. Talking, singing or reading to your baby will help them regulate their emotions when they are feeling upset, and it will also assist with their communication development.
Provide soft touch
Sometimes in hospital, your baby needs to have uncomfortable medical interventions. It is important that you provide different sensory experiences that are positive so that your baby understands that not all touch is uncomfortable. Using different materials and textures to rub on you baby’s skin will provide those alternative experiences and help your baby feel a balanced view of his or her world.
Your face is the best toy!
Use exaggerated facial expressions, move your face closer and farther away, nod your head up and down or shake from side to side. Add singing or talking to make this a multi-sensory experience. Provide a clothing item, with your scent on it, in the cot with your baby. Your smell is familiar and provides comfort even if you can’t be there.
If you are able to pick up your baby…
See what positions make them feel more settled. You can try swaddling them, cradling them in your arms or holding them upright on your chest. You can also talk to your nurse about the options for skin-to-skin contact.
If you are unable to pick up your baby…
Being unable to hold your baby can be a very upsetting experience for parents. You may feel a sense of loss or worry about how you can connect. If you are unable to hold your baby, you can still cup their head and feet in your hands, stroke and massage them and hold their hands.
Build routines
Establishing your own routines is important. Find a way of rocking, holding, or patting that you and your baby like and make it your own. Your baby will look forward to expecting established routines.
Use a mirror!
Babies love looking at human faces and while they will not recognise self at this age, looking at their own gives them continuous feedback.
Make a playlist
Pick some of your favourite tunes and play them for your baby regularly. You will learn their own preferences for different songs and may even find ones that are particularly settling or make them smile. Sing along! You may not think you have the best voice, but your baby does!
Decorate your baby's room.
Whether you are in the hospital or at home, you can make your baby’s room, their own special space. You can put up banners with your baby’s name on it or photos of your friends and family. You can also use a mobile or small toys for the cot to have some other visual stimulation for your baby.
Take some photos
It is probably the last thing you are thinking of right now, but you can still take beautiful photos of your infant and catch his or her ‘firsts’ or special times with siblings. You can also use these photos to share with family or friends who are unable to visit. It may not seem like a priority now, but photos allow you to keep your special memories forever.
Kate Strickland has a background in Occupational Therapy and Education and has been a Child Life Therapist working with infants, children and young people in the cardiac space for many years at the Royal Children’s Hospital. Seeing the gap in service provision pre and post hospital, she started the organisation Healing Hearts Beyond to provide a community-based Child Life Therapy service to support infants and children along with their families in managing the stresses associated with procedures, hospitalisations and medical trauma.
Comments