6 Ways to Support Your Child After Their Hospital Admission

A hospital admission or cardiac surgery can be a scary time for both your child and the whole family. Getting home is always an important milestone, however, families can find themselves back in the home environment with reduced supports and little people with big worries. Readjusting to ‘normal life’ can be difficult and the days following discharge can be challenging.

Some common reactions following a hospital admission can be:

· Clinging to parents or other adults

· Being afraid of the dark

· Changes in sleeping and eating

· Being easily startled or jumpy

· Bed wetting or thumb sucking

· Complaints of headaches or tummy aches

You may also see minor changes in behaviour where your child may avoid certain places or objects that remind them of their hospital experience, or they may become upset over small things.

Mostly, these behaviours will settle over a short period of time with support and understanding. However, if your child continues to experience distress, it is good to have a chat to your doctor to see what other supports can be put in place to help them process their experience.

These are 6 ways to support your child after their hospital admission.

1. Return to a daily routine.

Children thrive on structure and predictability. Help your child return to their normal routines to promote a sense of safety. They may still need recovery time but assisting them in resuming familiar activities will help them re-establish normalcy.

2. Allow your child time to talk about or express their worries

Having a hospital admission can bring up lots of worries for little minds. Help them name their emotions and normalise them. For younger children, you can encourage play, drawing, and story-telling. Older children may want a ‘worry journal’ to write down things that are upsetting or scary – this can be particularly helpful at night-time when lots of our worries like to pop up!

It’s also good to check in with siblings about how they are feeling about the experience. Sometimes, siblings will sit in the background quietly while the focus is on their brother or sister, or they may start to act out if they feel they are not getting enough attention. This allows them a space to express their own emotions but also address any misconceptions or worries they may have about their sibling being on unwell.

Don’t forget it’s positive to share your feelings too and normalise that it’s ok to feel worried, sad or scared sometimes.

3. Give your family time to readjust

Don’t feel pressured to have everything back to ‘normal’ as soon as you return home. Allow your child and the rest of the family time and space to get back into the swing of things. While keeping a daily routine is helpful, you are not expected to be going full speed with activities, outings, visitors and the other hundreds of things you do during your average week. You can pace things and give your family the time they need to recalibrate.

4. Set your usual limits

You may feel like you need to relax your rules or expectations of your child’s behaviour given their recent difficult experiences. You can still be understanding of their journey when a child has a challenging emotional response, but it can be helpful to keep normal limits and expectations of their behaviour. Again, predictability is important to the way your child processes information and responds accordingly. This is the same for all members of the household and will reinforce stability.

5. Promote independence

It can be tempting to do things for your child after they have returned from hospital in a bid to support and comfort them. However, it is very helpful for children to do things again on their own to promote a sense of control and choice. Obviously, this will depend on your child’s recovery requirements, but even encouraging them to do small tasks will help them feel a sense of achievement. You can also assist your child by helping them to reconnect with friends. Often, children can worry about being ‘different’ or how their friends might react to their condition. Support your child to connect with friends (even if it is online!) and help them think of responses to questions that their friends may have. For example, ‘why were you in hospital?’, ‘what’s wrong with your heart?’ You can empower your child by rehearsing and giving them a language to use so they don’t feel worried or awkward about their interactions.

6. Allow yourself time to process your own feelings

It is very common for parents to experience feelings of fear, worry or dread following their child’s hospital admission. You might find that you are being overprotective and worrying a lot more about them being safe. You might feel distressed if your child is in pain or discomfort or have fears about caring for their medical needs at home without medical support. These are all normal responses. Be kind to yourself. Reach out to friends and family for support and ‘time out’ when you need it. Practise self-care strategies. It’s a cliché but you need to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others. Seek additional support from your GP or other mental health practitioners if you are experiencing ongoing trauma responses.